Adoptee's DNA Leads to Porter Ties

 

Meeting Cousin Rhonda for the first time in Silver Spring, Maryland

On May 4, 2015, my cousin Orien Reid Nix sent me an inquiry e-mail. An adoptee, Rhonda Roorda, contacted her because she is searching for her biological parents. Born in Rochester, NY, the award-winning author of In Their Voices: Black Americans on Transracial Adoption, and also a consultant for the NBC TV series “This Is Us,” had taken two autosomal DNA tests (FTDNA & AncestryDNA). Rhonda also uploaded her raw data file to GEDmatch.com. Cousin Orien and Rhonda share 44 cM of identical DNA on chromosome 3, with an additional 21 cM on the X chromosome. That amount suggests the third cousin range. Cousin Orien asked me if it is possible if Rhonda is related via our Danner-Bobo line. As second cousins, my mother and Cousin Orien are both the great-granddaughters of Edward Danner Sr. (1832-1876) and Louisa Bobo Danner (1842-1921) of Panola County (Como), Mississippi. Utilizing the chromosome browser in GEDmatch, I soon realized three key things: 

(1) Rhonda also shares 17 cM with my mother’s brother on chromosome 15 and 18 cM on the X chromosome, which overlaps with the 21 cM she shares with Cousin Orien on the X.  

(2) Rhonda also shares 20 cM on the X with my mother in the same spot. These overlapping segments, where everyone is matching each other on the same chromosome spot, mean that they all inherited that identical DNA from a common ancestor.

(3) Rhonda is also sharing 9 to 19 cM of identical DNA with four other descendants of Edward and Louisa Danner.

Therefore, the answer to Cousin Orien’s question was a resounding YES. Rhonda is our cousin via Edward and/or Louisa Danner. But how? I also noticed that they all are sharing DNA with three people with the last name PORTER. For privacy purposes, I will call them Cousins A, B, and C. Those matches would prove to be very conducive to honing in on the family connection and some of Cousin Rhonda’s ancestry.

Months later, a new AncestryDNA match (Cousin D) appeared among my mother’s DNA matches. She shares 63 cM over 2 segments with my mother, and the “Shared Matches” include six other descendants of Edward & Louisa Danner who took the AncestryDNA test. Luckily, Cousin D attached a public family tree to her profile. I didn’t see any common ancestors, but she had PORTERs in her family tree. I soon discovered that she, as well as Cousins A, B, and C, all descend from a couple named Albert Porter and Fillis Whitlock Porter via two of their 12 children. Cousin Rhonda is also sharing significant DNA with Cousins A, B, C, and D, from 34 to 134 cM. Two other Porter descendants, Cousins E and F, were also sharing weighty amounts of DNA with us, particularly Rhonda. See chart below.

 

DNA Sharing Between Rhonda and Porter Descendants (Cousins A, B, C, D, E, and F)

This analysis revealed that Cousin Rhonda is a descendant of Albert & Fillis Porter, and one of them was closely-related to Edward or Louisa Danner. The major commonality between the two couples is location. Grandma Louisa “Lue” was enslaved by Dr. William Bobo, who transported her, her mother Clarissa Bobo, and her numerous siblings to Panola County, Mississippi in 1858 from Union County, South Carolina. On a trip back to South Carolina in 1859, Dr. Bobo purchased Grandpa Edward from the Thomas Danner Jr. estate of Union County and brought him back to Mississippi. According to his Civil War pension file, he had been born on the Danner farm, which is why he kept the Danner surname. He never saw his family back in South Carolina again. Edward and Louisa subsequently married in 1860.

Albert & Fillis Porter were found in the 1870 and 1880 censuses, residing in Union County! Albert was born around 1838 in South Carolina, and Fillis was born around 1840, also in South Carolina. After 1880, they and their children later migrated into Spartanburg County, near Wellford, where their family tree grew by leaps and bounds. They became members of the Upper Shady Grove Baptist Church (aka New Shady Grove Baptist Church) near Wellford.

Cousin Rhonda and the Porters are not sharing DNA with family members related via Grandma Louisa, who was fathered by a white man named Elijah Wilbourn Jr., according to oral history (DNA-proven). Therefore, the connection strongly appears to be via Grandpa Edward. When the Danners sold Edward to Dr. Bobo, they also sold most of their 20+ slaves to raise funds for their pending move to Grant County, Arkansas. Thomas’ widow, Nancy Bates Danner, and their sons only kept a woman named Harriet Danner, possibly Edward’s sister, and her seven children and took them to Arkansas in 1859. Edward’s parents and siblings were sold to other slave-owners, but I haven’t been able to uncover the names and whereabouts of Edward’s displaced family members and who may have purchased them. This has been a longtime mystery.

However, these DNA findings with Cousin Rhonda and the Porters are leading me to believe that Albert may have been Edward's brother, due to the amount of DNA my family is sharing with them. So I started digging to try to prove or disprove it. Here’s what I found.

Research Finding #1

In the online Freedmen's Bureau records, now accessible at discoverfreedmen.org, I found an 1865 labor contract for Albert & Phillis (Fillis) Porter, being contracted for their labor in Union County, S.C. by M.S. Porter. These contracts “consist of agreements between freedmen laborers and planters stating terms of employment, such as pay, clothing, and medical care due the freedman; the part of the crop to be retained by him; and whether a plot for growing subsistence crops was to be provided.” (Source) M.S. Porter was likely the last slave-owner who entered Albert and Fillis into a labor contract shortly after enslaved people were emancipated.

1865 Freedmen’s Bureau Labor Contract – M.S. Porter & Albert and Phillis (Read full contract here) 

"South Carolina, Freedmen's Bureau Field Office Records, 1865-1872," images, FamilySearch (https://familysearch.org : 21 May 2014), Union district, Roll 105, Labor contracts, series II, A-S, 1866

Research Finding #2

Per the censuses, M.S. Porter was Marion Sandford Porter. He was only 21 years old in 1860 and was reported as being a planter. I checked the 1860 slave schedule, and M.S. Porter (spelled Poter in the census) owned five slaves:

(1) 21-year-old black male

(2) 18-year-old mulatto female

(3) 10-year-old mulatto female

(4) 3-year-old mulatto male

(5) 1-year-old mulatto male

The 21-year-old black male fits the profile of Albert Porter. Perhaps, the 18-year-old mulatto female may be Fillis? She was noted as being “mulatto” in the later censuses.

Research Finding #3

Fillis died in 1921 in Spartanburg County. Luckily, her death certificate was found on ancestry.com. Her father’s name was simply written as "Stark." Her mother’s name was reported as being Mary Whitlock. Since she is reported as being mulatto in the censuses, I wondered if her father may have been white, keeping in mind that the census-taker’s mulatto notation was likely based on appearance. But who was “Stark”? I immediately found my answer. It appears that he was a white man named Stark Whitlock, born in 1818. His father was Bennett Whitlock (1790-1859), whose 1859 estate record included a slave inventory. Among the enslaved were a woman named Phillis and her oldest son, Dennis. In my extensive research of Grandma Louisa’s family, I haven’t found any ties to the Whitlocks. Interestingly, Cousin Rhonda shares sizeable amounts of DNA with numerous white Whitlock descendants.

Research Finding #4

Marion Sandford Porter's father was Hancock Porter, who died in 1852 in Union County. Per the 1850 slave schedule, Hancock owned 12 slaves. His estate record revealed that he did not own an enslaved male named Albert. Therefore, young Marion appeared to have acquired Albert from somebody before 1860. Cousin C mentioned that the oral history in the Porter family relays that Albert had been sold to the Porter family and had been separated from own his family. Another descendant, Marvin Porter, also shared with me that their oral history also sadly claims that Albert was used to breed children during slavery. This history was written in a 1987 article in the Philadelphia Inquirer about the Porter family.

 

1987 Philadelphia Inquirer Article (Shared by Rhonda Roorda) 
McCabe, Barbara. “Bus Driver Discover Road to Relatives.” The Philadelphia Inquirer [Philadelphia, PA] 9 July 1987: Page 30-M. Print. 

The Porter Family’s oral history is matching up with the documented history about Grandpa Edward Danner – the sad saga of enslaved families being permanently separated. I am theorizing, with a high level of certainty, that Albert and Edward were brothers who got sold and took different surnames. This was not uncommon. I have no doubt that future DNA testing (and/or more genealogical research) will help to solve this case. Stay tuned.

Cousin Rhonda was recently invited down to Spartanburg, South Carolina to meet some of the descendants of Albert & Fillis Porter, who have held a number of family reunions and who garner a great pride in their family history. The resemblances to Rhonda were quite noticeable. She shared, “It was a real blessing to be in Spartanburg this past weekend and have the opportunity to meet some of these amazing relatives. The fact that family members arranged a welcome gathering for me was quite humbling and beautiful. The elders were so happy that they could meet me, as I was them. It was a great trip.” Incredibly, her DNA match to my Danner family led to a wonderful discovery – the Danners and Porters are blood kinfolks. Our family histories added a special meaning to our biological connection. However, the best outcome will be when Cousin Rhonda uncovers the identity of one or both of her biological parents. That day will come.

 

Cousin Rhonda with relatives in Spartanburg, South Carolina 
(Shared by Rhonda Roorda)

The Family Was Broken but the DNA Wasn’t

In 150 Years Later: Broken Ties Mended, I wrote the following about how I learned that a man named Pleasant (Pleas) Barr (1814-1889) of Tippah County (Ripley), Mississippi was the father of my mother’s paternal grandfather, William “Bill” Reed (1846-1937) of Tate County (Senatobia), Mississippi. Grandpa Bill’s death certificate provided his name. He, his sister Mary, and others came to northern Mississippi in 1866, from Abbeville, South Carolina, shortly after gaining their freedom. Grandpa Bill Reed told stories to his children and grandchildren about his experiences as a slave in South Carolina. Many of those stories are in the book. Here’s one account:

After discovering Pleasant Barr, I called Cousin Ike and expressed ecstatically, “I found out Grandpa Bill’s father’s name!  It was Pleas Barr!”

The name jarred his memory. He immediately shared, “Yeah, that’s right!  Boy, you are sure digging up some history! Grandpa Bill told us that his father was named Pleas, and that’s where Uncle Pleas’ name came from.”

“So he talked about his father,” I questioned.

“Oh yeah, all the time! He told us that his father was sold away, and they never saw him again. He used to talk about the day it happened. He said that they loaded his father on a wagon, and as the wagon was leaving the place, Grandpa just stood there and watched until the wagon was out of sight. It crossed some creek near the place where they were at, and it went down into a valley, and went off into the sunset. His father was gone but not forgotten. He talked about that so often because he always wondered where they took him. He was a young boy at the time.”

I was floored by this vivid account but saddened by what it gave an account of.

“What about his mother? Did he talk about her, too,” I asked with grave curiosity.

Bewildered, he stated, “You know, he didn’t talk about his mother much. He talked about an older sister that took care of him, but I don’t recall much of anything ever being said about his mother. I don’t know what may have happened to her.” 

Apparently, Uncle Jimmy Reed also did not know much about Grandpa Bill’s mother since the words “not known” were written on his death certificate.

Cousin Ike’s account sent chills through me like water flowing down the mighty Mississippi River. He continued, “Grandpa sure did love his father though. I remember him telling us how he was such a fun-loving man who would always joke around with the other slaves there on the place. You know that was really hard on him to be separated from his father like that, never to see him again and never knowing where his father was at. He would always say that he watched his father being taken away, off into the sunset.” (Chapter 3, “Gone But Not Forgotten,” pp. 44-45)

In 150 Years Later: Broken Ties Mended, I chronicled how years of connecting the dots through oral history, genealogy research, and slave ancestral genealogy research enabled me to reconstruct Grandpa Bill Reed’s family story and family tree – one that got broken in 1859 in Abbeville, South Carolina. That year, his father was sold away and taken to Ripley, Mississippi, and William Barr Jr. took his mother, Isabella Barr, his paternal grandmother, Fanny Barr, and his father’s sister, Sue Barr Beckley (born c. 1812), her husband Jacob Sr., and their twelve children to Pontotoc County, Mississippi. Barr had sold Grandpa Bill and his sister to his first cousin, Lemuel Reid, there in Abbeville. Grandpa Bill never laid eyes on them again, but he told his family about them, particularly his father, Pleas, and his first cousin, Cannon Beckley, with whom he had a brother-like relationship. I told the story of this discovery and presented a great amount of documentation.

Although the preponderance of evidence was quite abundant, I would sometimes ask myself, “What if?” Sometimes, the truth is not always what the paper records indicate. What if I misinterpreted my research findings? What if I had missed something? What if I saw something that really wasn’t there? What if I drew the wrong conclusions? These were usually just quick thoughts because the amount of genealogical records and oral history I presented in the book left my shadow of doubt at a very low 5%.

Now we have autosomal DNA testing (AncestryDNA, 23andMe, or Family Tree DNA) to not only learn about what is in our DNA and who our biological relatives are, but we can also prove some of our research through DNA matches. We can also connect with family branches of our family tree that we never knew existed. We can add more narrative to our ancestors’ stories. This is what makes autosomal DNA and genetic genealogy very exciting for me. As descendants of enslaved people of African descent in America, African Americans will undoubtedly have numerous DNA matches to people whose ancestors were forcibly separated from their loved ones during slavery.

DNA now has my shadow of doubt at ZERO percent with Grandpa Bill Reed’s family roots. When his father was sold and taken to Ripley, Mississippi, Grandpa Pleas Barr continued on with his life as best as he knew how. He remarried to a widowed lady named Amanda Young, and they had one child together, Elijah Barr, who was born about 1866/1867. I can’t help but wonder if Grandpa Pleas told Elijah about his children back in Abbeville, South Carolina. Sadly, before he died in/around 1889, Grandpa Pleas never learned that Grandpa Bill Reed and Aunt Mary Pratt had left South Carolina shortly after slavery and were just sixty miles away from him, over near Senatobia, Mississippi. They were so close but still so far.

Uncle Elijah Barr eventually moved to Memphis, Tennessee, where he married Lula Winston on March 16, 1908. Before Elijah died in 1918, he and Lula had two children: Frances Barr Evans (1909-1991) and Rev. James Matthew Barr (1913-198?). His descendants, via his daughter Frances, were finally found last year after I clicked on a “Shaky Leaf” family tree hint in ancestry.com. That “Shaky Leaf” led me to a family tree uploaded by Ivy of California, indicating that the same Elijah Barr was her great great grandfather! Soon afterwards, another descendant, a great great grandson named Keith of Chicago, shared pictures! One of them included this old picture of Elijah’s widow, Lula, and their two children.

Elijah Barr’s widow, Lula Winston Barr, and their two children, Frances & James Barr. Shortly after Elijah’s death, she and her children moved to Chicago, Illinois. Shared by Keith Evans

Subsequently, I also learned that another descendant, a great great granddaughter of Elijah, had taken the 23andMe DNA test. Lo and behold, Jessica was among our DNA matches, matching me, my mother, my aunt, and their paternal first cousin Armintha on overlapping segments on chromosomes 3 and 4. To add, and not shown here, she also matches my mother's paternal first cousin's grandson, Dr. Leroy Frazier, at 23 cM.

As mentioned earlier, William Barr Jr. took Sue Barr Beckley and her husband Jacob and their twelve children to Pontotoc County, Mississippi. The preponderance of evidence led me to conclude that she was Grandpa Pleas Barr’s sister and both of them were children of Lewis Barr (born c. 1780) and Fanny Barr (born c. 1790). To date, at least six descendants of Sue have taken an autosomal DNA test, and they are DNA matches.

(1)  In AncestryDNA, wa7860 shares 42 cM over 2 segments with my mother. Sue is his 4th-great grandmother via her son, Cannon Beckley (1840-1903). He and my mother are third cousins three times removed.

(2)  In AncestryDNA, kismo7185 shares 30 cM over 2 segments with my mother. Sue is her 3rd-great grandmother via her son, Cannon Beckley (1840-1903). She and my mother are third cousins twice removed.

(3)  In AncestryDNA, M.G. shares 28 cM over 4 segments with my mother. Sue is her great great grandmother via her son, Cannon Beckley (1840-1903). She and my mother are third cousins once removed.

(4)  In AncestryDNA, OnreaR shares 30 cM over 2 segments with my mother. Sue is her 3rd-great grandmother via her son, Cannon Beckley (1840-1903). She and my mother are third cousins twice removed.

(5)  In AncestryDNA, J.R. shares 8.5 cM with my mother. Sue is his 3rd-great grandmother via her son, Cannon Beckley (1840-1903). He and my mother are third cousins twice removed.

(6)  In 23andMe, Arlene shares 21 cM with my uncle and my aunt on overlapping segments. Sue is her 3rd-great grandmother via her son, Clay Beckley (1846-1903). They are third cousins twice removed. Arlene also shares DNA with Jessica at 25 cM. They are fifth cousins.

Since Ancestry.com has refused to provide their millions of DNA customers with a chromosome browser, like 23andMe and Family Tree DNA have done, and since three of the seven haven’t uploaded their raw data files to GEDmatch.com, I am unable to do more DNA triangulations. But there’s no doubt in my mind that this is DNA from Lewis & Fanny Barr, our Most Recent Common Ancestor (MRCA), that is shared among them. The family was broken during slavery, but the DNA wasn’t. 

1880 Pontotoc County, Mississippi Census: Grandpa Bill Reed’s paternal grandmother, Fanny Barr, was still alive when the 1880 census was taken. Her age was reported as being 100 years old. She was living with her grandson, Rev. Jacob Beckley Jr.

The Miracles of DNA: Our Family Reunion in Ghana, Africa

This is my first blog post for 2017. I am very happy to make this blog post about our dream-like family reunion in Ghana on December 11 & 14, 2016. There will be other blog posts about our spectacular week in Ghana.

My cousins (R to L), Dr. Leroy Frazier, Andre Edwards, James Johnson, and I with our host William Obeng in the middle. My cousins and I all are descendants of Luke Edwards (Ogbar Ogumba) and Lucy Edwards of Panola County (Como), Mississippi.

During Memorial Day weekend of May 2016, my cousins and I discussed the possibility of traveling to Ghana at our Edwards homecoming celebration in northern Mississippi. One of my cousins, Dr. Leroy Frazier, my maternal grandfather’s great-nephew, was already set to travel to Ghana in December. By Labor Day weekend, I had not made the final decision if I was going to accompany them to Ghana or travel there in 2017. I had always wanted to visit Ghana, especially after receiving two DNA matches to Ghanaians, both on my mother’s father's side. One of the DNA matches is Kweku Folson of London. Both of his parents were Ghana immigrants to the UK. His family roots hailed from Winneba and Cape Coast, in the Central Region of south Ghana, and his family are of the Akan people. Kweku’s IBD (Identity by Descent) match to three cousins from the Reed/Edwards side of my mother's family on the same chromosome revealed our ancestral connection to the Gold Coast (Ghana). See this March 2016 blog post for more details concerning this significant DNA match to my Edwards lineage. 

On September 5, 2016, which was Labor Day, I checked my family's DNA accounts to see if any new DNA matches appeared. This is something that I do almost daily. Three months prior, I was able to generate a pseudo-DNA Lazarus kit in GEDmatch for my deceased maternal grandfather, Simpson Reed, using three of his children, including my mother, one of his baby brother's daughters, who is 95 years old, a great-nephew, and 10 Edwards cousins, who had also taken an autosomal DNA test and had uploaded their raw data files to GEDmatch. My grandfather was the grandson of Prince Edwards (a son of Luke & Lucy) of Panola County, Mississippi, his mother's father. While I was scrolling through the list of my grandfather's DNA matches in GEDmatch on that September day, I came across a foreign-looking name that appeared to be African. Her name was Nana Faba Idun. She was also a DNA match to my mother's brother. I immediately contacted LaKisha David, the person who manages Nana Faba's account, on Facebook. She responded within an hour!

To my joy, LaKisha informed me that Nana Faba was an elderly, 81-year-old Fante woman who resides in Elmina, Ghana, where she was born and raised, and the town where Elmina Castle, the slave dungeon, was located in the Central Region of south Ghana. This is the same region where Kweku Folson's family roots are from. She became my family's 3rd DNA match to Ghana! Also to my joy, LaKisha immediately connected me with four of Nana Faba's granddaughters, Rita Quaigrain Owusu, Rhoda Quaigrain, Efua Martin, and Ivy Gyaaba Martin, who were also on Facebook. They immediately embraced me and Cousin Leroy. Nana Faba's granddaughter, Rhoda, who resides in Canada, and LaKisha are best friends. In May 2016, both of them had traveled to Ghana, and while they were there, LaKisha collected saliva samples from Rhoda's mother and maternal grandmother, Nana Faba, for the AncestryDNA test. After receiving the results, LaKisha subsequently uploaded their raw data files to GEDmatch, an effort for TAKiR, the African Kinship Reunion project.

At this point, I then decided to make the trip to Ghana in December with my cousins to see our ancestral homeland. I had only three months to prepare. We arrived in Accra, Ghana on the night of Saturday, December 10, 2016. Two days before arriving, Cousin Leroy received the final confirmation that we were going to be able to meet Cousin Nana Faba Idun and her family. They happily agreed to the "family reunion." To say that I was excited is a gross understatement. The adjective "euphoric" doesn't properly describe how I was feeling! A family reunion with African cousins was something that was beyond my wildest dreams. Just several years ago, I never fathomed that something like this would even be possible! But DNA technology and the efforts of LaKisha and Rhoda, and her grandmother's willingness, made this possible.

One of Cousin Nana Faba's daughters, Faustina Quaigrain, resided in the suburban village of Kasoa, which is adjacent to Accra, the capital city of Ghana. Therefore, the first part of this monumental family reunion was with Cousin Faustina, her husband, Chief Dr. Kennedy Quaigrain, and grandchildren and great grandchildren of Cousin Nana Faba there on Sunday, the day after we arrived in Accra. What a great way to start our visit to Ghana! 

We were warmly welcomed into their home in the Ghanaian traditional style. We conversed about the significance of this family reunion, which was reuniting them with African-American cousins whose ancestors were likely taken away from the Gold Coast, and our reconnecting with the blood descendants in Ghana. Cousin Chief Quaigrain discussed the importance of family connections and maintaining those family ties. We reiterated the effects of the transatlantic slave trade (The Middle Passage) on both sides of the Atlantic Ocean. We expressed to the family how we are just four out of thousands of African-American cousins that they have. Chief Dr. Quaigrain also gave us a brief history lesson about the Fante people of the Central Region of Ghana. The Fante people are a subgroup of the Akan. He poignantly expressed, "Since you all made the great effort in traveling thousands of miles to Ghana to connect with us, we take great pleasure in opening our home and welcoming you all, our family, back home to Ghana." Hearing those words touched our hearts deeply. I felt my eyes watering.

With the daughters, son-in-law, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren

of Cousin Nana Faba Idun in Kasoa, Ghana

Chief Dr. Kennedy Quaigrain discussing the importance of family with us. (Photo by Andre Edwards)

The second part of this great family reunion occurred that Wednesday, December 14, in Cape Coast, Ghana. Our host, William Obeng, and his family planned a Homecoming Reception for us that night, which was attended by over 100 people from the Central Region and Accra. We had no idea that the Obeng Family would literally roll out the red carpet for us! Local dignitaries, their family and friends, as well as the Ghana media, were in attendance to welcome us "home." We were simply in awe. Not only that, since Cousin Nana Faba Idun resided nearby in Elmina, she was able to attend the reception, along with her daughters and grandchildren.

At the reception, we laid eyes on Cousin Nana Faba Idun for the very first time. For a minute, I just sat there and stared at her. I was in disbelief about what was occurring. I simply could not believe it! To garner DNA matches with African cousins is colossal within itself, but to meet that relative in person in Africa took it to a wonderfully greater level that I never imagined. I kept saying to myself, "Is this happening for real?" It was real.

As we sat at the table, talking and laughing with the family, our family, we felt a bond that was no longer hidden and broken. Even one of the camera men stated, "It seemed like you all have known each other for years." We knew that the ancestors were happy. It did not matter at all that we did not know exactly how we are related. This was one of the inhumane effects of American chattel slavery and the transatlantic slave trade. Nonetheless, just the simple fact that we were blood family who had returned back "home" to Ghana was all that mattered. According to LaKisha, Cousin Nana Faba's brother, Joseph “Kawantwi” Arthur, remembered childhood stories from their elders about ancestors being taken away from the Gold Coast, never to return. On December 11, 2016, after over 200 years, they returned home through us. I thank God and the ancestors for this wonderful blessing!

My cousins and I with Cousin Nana Faba Idun, her daughters, and grandchildren in Cape Coast, Ghana

Cousin Nana Faba Idun of Elmina, Ghana and me

Cousin Leroy talking and laughing with Cousin Nana Faba and her granddaughter, Rita

People from Ghana at the Homecoming Reception in Cape Coast

Ghana TV News station 3 at the Homecoming Reception interviewing my cousins and me